Coffee With Pierre

Now, it is important to contrast the way they appeared during that problem-event with your impressions of them at other times.

a) Describe how each of those present in the problem-event normally appeared to you when they weren't in a problem.

b) Make sure you include how they seemed to you during those times?

c) If they were to act this way all the time, how would that affect you?

d) And, if that's the way they were all the time, how could you tell they cared about you or what you were ?

e) Now, as you review the way they usually were, would you agree you could describe that way of being as if it were the background, or the stage setting, within which the problem scenes played themselves out?

f) By accepting this distinction, we can raise this question to a new level. What kinds of circumstances does it take for your problem to emerge and play itself out?

g) Predict when your problem will most likely play itself out.

h) And, now that you have examined it again, would you say that there are special times when the players in a problem can come out and show their feelings and express themselves and other times when they cannot? Describe those.

i) But when are you most real?

j) When are you most purely your real self?

k) When do you become sincere even to yourself? And when not?

l) Consider another thing: How did your family drama play itself out while watching TV together, or when taking trips or vacations together and during other family gatherings? Discuss whether or not exceptions were made during these times and the effect that had on you.

m) How did your family relate during the preparation of meals, during dinner, cleaning up after dinner and on weekends? How were the house cleaning chores used to play out the background of the family drama?

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