Philosophical Community: Lisa's Autobiography
Autobiography of a Web Hostess
I love reading Ancient Philosophical texts, they bring about a resounding deep reflection and consequently are a cause of growth. Reading and studying the rich Platonic and Hellenic Spiritual texts have induced both mystical and transcendent experiences.
My first mystical experiences was during an intensive weekend meditation retreat. When I attend Dr. Pierre Grimes’ meditation retreats I prepare myself by sitting with local monks for 3-10 days in silent preparation. Settling and quieting the mind, and setting the conditions to listen wakefully. Then I am ready to sit with Pierre and play the noble game of meditation and philosophy within a calmed silent space.
My first weekend retreat with Pierre I sat for five days in a local monastery and read the Three Pillars of Zen. I sat for five excruciating days in pain and distress and in the end I left the monastery in misery and completely unenlightened. That night between sitting with the monks and before Pierre’s meditation retreat I felt something I had not experienced in all of my memory. A releasing of tension, a melting away, quiet, peaceful, a joyful delight. It was truly beautiful. I was finally able to appreciate the five days of intensive concentration and focus in a new way. Then I went to the meditation retreat where Pierre was sitting. I sat on a cushion on the floor, wrapped in a blanked for warmth, and surrounded by thirty people meditating with Pierre. I sat for two more days before I had my first in-depth encounter. It was late at night and the candles in the room added enough illumination to see the flame, but not much else. Suddenly amidst silence and full of openness, perceptions peeled away, sitting with a question so intensely that I did not have the question, the question had me, it was as if opaque veils of rice paper surrounding me ripped apart out of existence and the flame of the candle was directly experienced. There was no separation between the light and me. Indeed there was only light, no otherness of candle and a separation of me from the candle. When the bell rang announcing the end of the sitting session...I rang, there was no me, no bell, no room, no air, simply ringing. It was more lucid and awakened then any other moment in all of my memory, searching my past for any such experience, there was no comparison. I left the building, had a good long belly laugh, picked wild flowers and danced in the parking lot during the next sitting session. Free on a manner previously unknown.
I live in Huntington Beach Califoria and though I have been tempted to move abroad I stay here to continue my studies in this uniquely volatile environment, referred to as “living behind the Orange Curtain.” I am surrounded by those who pursue the illusion of wealth, stability, and power, and curiously enough, also surrounded by those who have studied with Dr. Grimes for 25 years or more, both the Just and the Tyrannical. In comparison with these long time students of Dr. Grimes’ and their fine minds, the only bit I have for myself is that I ferverently pursue the activity of studying myself to understand what I am, and seeking to know myself.
Of the vastness of The Mind I have encountered, considering the amazing minds with whom I study, the ancient books I read, I encounter the Highest Wisdom of Mankind. I find that I am daunted by the whole of the vision of which I am witness. I understand that carved above the entrance of the temple at Delphi is to Know Myself. I am preparing myself for the experience by seeking to understand myself. Asking: What after all is the One itself, What is watching, What wants to know, Why am I here now in this time and in this place?
I seek to be lucid and aware both while asleep at night and awake out of bed. I want to leave behind perception and revel in Ideas, (in Greek this word means Beholding) to grasp by mind alone, that which is Real, unchanging, and True. So, this is what I do, and this is what I try to do, every moment, awake and asleep. I have some good days when I remember these goals and days when I struggle. I seek to remember that the struggles and problems are gifts presented for my highest benefit, gifts which require reflection and must be examined in order to surpass and transcend the boundaries of my beliefs both those that are true and those which are not.
When I began this journey I was in the worst condition of anyone I had ever met. Wretched in everyway. Both in body and soul. I met a woman who had studied with Pierre some years before, and she introduced me to questions, rational thought, and models of reflective reasoning. She introduced me to Dr. Grimes and I quickly realized I was too stupid to appreciate philosophical ideas, and I knew it. I was unwilling to spend another moment in my wretched condition and I began the journey into mind. It would be another four years before I developed enough intelligence and skill to be able to consistently read the texts with rudimentary understanding or to speak a word without weeping. Sadly this is not an exaggeration.
Then I was off and running. I studied Philosophical Midwifery, Neo-platonic Metaphysics, Plato, Eastern mysticism, the Pre-Socratics, Christianity, and Dream exploration with Pierre, Euclid with Rod Wallbank, Ancient Greek with Nobuya Teraoka .
. . .and yet my journey has just begun, I find that it is timeless and expanding. I wonder where humanity came from (the cause) where we are going, and why I am here at this time in this body in this golden age of the Internet, and how it has come to be that I have the opportunity to interact with this amazing and wondrous community of people.
May we preserve these philosophical beauties, and exhibit them to others. May this web site expand their elegance by the enlivening rays of the philosophic fire; and by the powerful breath of genius, scatter abroad in this virtual world these latent but copious seeds.
If some sparks of this celestial fire shall animate the reader, consider yourself as well rewarded for this laborious undertaking. Ancient philosophy has been, for centuries, the only study to break the shackles of ignorance; and in which one finds an inexhaustible treasure of intellectual wealth, and a perpetual fountain of wisdom and delight.
Presuming that such a pursuit bestows the highest benefit, I, Webmistress, desire no other reward than the wealth of wisdom, and Reason as my constant Guide. If successful, may I see the praise of the liberal; and if not, I expect no defense for failure, other than the decision of the candid, and discerning few, thus the opportunity to learn, and purgation by philosophic fire.